Foster Parenting

Foster Parenting:
As I've mentioned before, in the late 80's and early 90's my ex-husband and I (and we remain on good terms...smile) were foster parents for 13 years. We were privileged to have 69 children share our home with us. Most of them were teenagers as the agency has a hard time placing older kids. With teenagers from a dysfunctional home, it's like rolling the dice. You never know what you're going to get. But honestly, of those 69 kids, there were only 5 that we had any problems with. The rest were like adding spice to our family. So many different personalities, so many laughs, a few tears, but overall a very rewarding experience. And 4 of those kids became permanent members of our family because of fact that they had no where else to go.

We had 4 children of our own and when it became known that those 4 would be with us for the long-term, the agency made us a group home so we could still continue to help them out.   And that's why some of the recipes I've posted here are for 8-10 kids and 2 adults.  I had to learn to cook for a team.
 
Boyd came to us when he was 16 and is now in his 40's.  I'm still Mom to him and I like that.  He's married with 2 adult sons, Devin and Tyler.  And they have both made me a "foster great-grandma".  Devin has a brand new son, Deacon, and Tyler has two sons, Cooper and Jaxin.  They are all 3 beautiful and wonderful boys and are being raised in loving homes.  We had a bump in the road (more than a bump, actually) a while back though with Cooper.  He had to undergo surgery for a brain tumor.  (Much more than a bump.) But this amazing little boy is bouncing back and things are going extremely well for him.

Jacques and his brother, Derrick, both in their 40's now, were our first 2 foster sons, and came to us at the ages of 8 and 10.  Both are grown with wonderful families.  Jacques' 4 kids Kenzie, Trenton, Peyton and Quinten, live out of state with their mother but we got to see the 3 boys last summer and hopefully we'll get to see all 4 of them this coming summer.  And Derrick is a college professor and lives with his wife and 3 children, Gregory, Teresa and Andrea in New Orleans so we only see them once a year too.

And Eric, sweet Eric, was 2 years old when he first came into our family but was back and forth with his mother until we adopted him at the age of 4.  But tragedy followed Eric, and his mother (and 5 siblings born after he was taken from her) died in a fire when he was only 12.  Eric had suffered what authorities said was an attachment disorder and he was unable to bond with us.  When his mother died, he suffered survivors guilt as well and wanted nothing to do with me, his second mother.  When he turned 18 he left us and moved to Arizona and I have not seen him since.  I miss him.

Fostering for us brought us such joy and so much fun that I encourage you, if you've had thoughts of fostering, to give it a try.  I think you and your family will benefit greatly from the experience as well as helping countless children through times no child should have to go through.  But trust me, the only downfall is that you will learn to love these kids and saying goodbye can be heartbreaking.  But well worth getting to know them.

What I'm Reading Now:
Iron House by John Hart.  I've never read Hart before and on further study, found that this is only his 4th novel.  But I'm sold.  Let me give you the back cover description:

"At the Iron Mountain Home for Boys, Julian survives only because his brother, Michael, is fiercely protective.  When a boy is brutally killed, Michael flees and takes the blame with him.  For two decades, Michael has been an enforcer in New York's world of organized crime.  But the life he's built unravels when he meets Elena.  He wants a fresh start with her.  The mob boss who gave Michael his blessing to begin anew is dying, and his son is intent on making Michael pay for his betrayal.  Michael spirits Elena back to Julian and to the place he's been running from his whole life: Iron House."

Patricia Cornwell says, "If you crave thrillers that are vividly beautiful, graphic, will make you bleed, try John Hart."  I am only about 2/3 of the way through this novel, I am completely immersed in the characters.  Writers that can make their characters stand out in a story like this man does, have the gift of magic.  I will absolutely read his other 3 novels.

A Quickie Recipe:
I have a really quick way to make deviled eggs that are absolutely delicious!  As usual, you boil your eggs and then cut them in half and remove the yolks (carefully...so the white remains intact). Smash the yolks in a bowl and simple add Henri's Tasty Salad Dressing until its the desired consistency.  You can find Henri's Tasty in the section with all the other salad dressings.  Then just spoon the mixture back into the eggs.  Mine are requested at every family get-together.

Quotes of the Day:
We love the fact that our house is full. The kids in my house didn't do anything wrong. Their parents did. They're not in foster care because they're juvenile delinquents. They're here because no one cared. ~ Tom Brown

If foster care called them it didn't matter what time of night it was when they got called, they were always willing to take them. ~ Tammy Griffins

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I choose not to place "DIS", in my ability

The Old Dog/New Tricks Syndrome:
So last week my daughter, Michelle, and her boyfriend, Dion, talked me into trying the Hidden Chronicles game on Facebook, and since I'm a big fan of Big Fish hidden objects/adventure games it sounded like fun.  But now that I've tried it I have to admit I have no friggin' idea what I'm doing. Michelle and Dion gave me a brief run through it....then they went home...and my mind went blank...now people are sending me stuff and asking for stuff and I don't have a clue!!!! They need a tutorial IMHO.

But this reminds me...there's so much stuff out there that they didn't have when I was younger.  Remember I asked the sales clerk for a tape recorder...duh, now I know better.  Well, today I just learned how to use my voice recognition on my phone...that I've had since last May. 

I have to keep track of the different goals each of my clients have and the services I provide for them on a monthly basis.  Then I have to document them for the county and the state.  So I decided to try my hand at spreadsheets.  Haha!  My daughter, Lisa, is a secretary and tried to show me how to do it.  But it took forever to eventually get the hang of it. 

I've written two complete manuscripts, but it wasn't until a few days ago I found out that to keep my chapters in my manuscript from moving every time I add or delete something, I need to use the "page break".  I didn't even know what that was!  Lisa's my go-to on this one too. But I'll need more than one lesson, Lisa.

I haven't always been this way.  I used to pick things up pretty quickly, but it seems the older I get, the longer it takes for things to sink in.  Is this normal?  Or is it just me?  Can you really teach an old dog new tricks?  I'm beginning to wonder.

I choose not to place "DIS", in my ability. ~ Robert M. Hensel:

Something happened today that I want to share.  This is Logan, a young man I've been privileged to be able to spend a lot of time with for the last seven years.  Technically he is a client of mine, but in reality, he's my little buddy.  He's not so little anymore though.  He's 17 now and growing so tall.  I'm with him after school and during summer and school breaks, while his single mother works.  My time with him, though, has been shared with other providers this past year due to him getting bigger and me getting older.

Logan is non-verbal and needs some assistance with his daily living and that's where the providers come in.  But I've come to realize over the years that he is much more capable of doing things on his own than some people give him credit for.  There is no doubt in my mind that he understands me when I talk to him because he gives me what I need when I ask it of him.
  

This past year the two of us have worked on him being able to drink from a cup on his own, starting with hand-over-hand, then him learning how to tip the cup to get more from it.  We've practiced and practiced with him eventually reaching for it on his own, lifting it and tipping it to drink, with me holding the bottom so he doesn't drop it.
  

Today, while eating lunch with his mother, he reached out and took the glass and this is what happened...and he did this all on his own...with no assistance!  When his mom sent me this picture, I was amazed.  I couldn't stop smiling.  My chest filled with emotion and I cried.  And how did this happen?  Persistence on his part, consistency on mine, and patience from both of us. 

Logan, I am so proud of you buddy.  We both knew you could do it, didn't we?

I have to share one more picture of Logan, swimming with the dolphins at therapy camp in the Keys.
If you'd like to read more about this amazing young man, check out his grandma's blog and scroll down.  She posts about him often cause he's the light of her life.
 http://logansgrandma.blogspot.com/


Quotes of the Day:
It was ability that mattered, not disability, which is a word I'm not crazy about using. ~ Marlee Matlin

The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~ Scott Hamilton

Senior Perks

11/22/63:
I've finally finished reading Stephen King's newest novel (11/22/63).  It's really a long one, but I'm so glad I took the time.  What an adventure it was!  The premise of the story is a man going back in time to stop the assassination of President Kennedy.  But the journey to get there is full of problems and joys.  He goes back to the present before the assassination attempt and can see what the little changes he made in the past have done to the future.  But when he goes back in time again to save Kennedy, everything has reset as if he'd never been there.
                                                                                                          
What a great read and I would recommend this to anyone that would like to take a trip back in time to the 50's and 60's and to see what just might happen if we could change the past.

Arby's Senior Discount:
When I turned 50 and received my application for AARP, I think I cried.  But when I received my Golden Buckeye card when I turned 60...wow...what a shock.  Was I really that old?
 
My kids took me out to eat for my 60th birthday and let the waitress know that I was eligible for a senior discount...thanks kids.  But the next week when I took one of my clients out to eat, I was automatically given the discount.  They didn't even ask!  I think I colored my hair the next week.

But this week I went through the drive-thru at Arby's for lunch.  The menu and little "ordering box" are at the back of the restaurant.  When I gave her my order she asked if I was eligible for a senior discount.  I said "How old do I have to be?"  "Well, I guess a Golden Buckeye card would work."  "Okay then.  I guess I am."  When I got to the window I asked her if they have a camera back there where you order.  "No, we don't."  "So does that mean I even sound old now?"  WTH!

Well, she was all apologetic, and I assured her (with a smile) that it was fine, that she didn't offend me. 
But, damn, this was a low blow...cause in my head I'm still in my 40's.  (That was said with a smile, too  :)

Bread Dressing:
If you made the sub sandwiches from last week and still have left-over bread, or even if you didn't, I have a wonderful recipe for dressing that can be stuffed in chicken or turkey...or just baked in a casserole dish. 

Way back in the 60's I used to read True Story magazine...in fact in the 80's they published my first attempt at a short story and I got a check for $375 for it...wheeeee...I was on cloud 9 for a very long time.

Anyway...they had featured this recipe.  I tried it, loved it, and have been making it every since.  I'm posting the original recipe here, but just for the record, I have to multiply it times 5 or 6 when I'm stuffing my turkey for our family Thanksgiving.  But for myself, the single recipe works fine.   So here it is:

1/3 c water - in small saucepan and add...
1/3 c chopped onions
1/3 c chopped celery
When vegetables are tender, do not drain but add to pan...
1/4 c. butter just until butter melts.  Remove from heat.
In medium bowl  put 4 cups soft bread crumbs (app. 4 slices broken into small pieces) and add...
1 egg (beaten) and mix well
Pour in melted butter mixture
Add...
1 t. salt
1/8  t. pepper
1/8  t. sage and mix well
Pour into casserole dish (or stuff turkey or chicken)
Casserole dish will bake covered at 350* for 45 min or until top is browned nicely.
If you use this to stuff a turkey, remember stuff it right before it goes in the over.  Stuffing cannot be put in the turkey the night before as it produces an enzyme (oh Lord what is it)...anyway it's not good for you. 
And enjoy!!

Preview:
Since I mentioned each of my grandchildren in the last post, I'm going to mention my foster grandchildren in my next post.
 
Quotes of the Day:
But I'm kind of comfortable with getting older because it's better than the other option, which is being dead. So I'll take getting older. ~ George Clooney

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough. ~ Groucho Marx

If you're always battling against getting older, you're always going to be unhappy, because it's going to happen anyhow. ~ Mitch Albom

New Toy

My New Toy:
Do you ever find yourself driving in your car and an idea, or something you need to do, pops into your head but by the time you get home you forgot what it was?  At my age, that happens all the time.  And not just in my car. 
Hence the reason for Post-It notes in every room in my house....and a notebook in my purse...and scrap paper in my car.
The problem with the paper in the car though...try writing a note to yourself while you're driving.  Doesn't happen...or it shouldn't.  I've tried writing a short note to myself on the steering wheel at stop lights but usually end up honking my horn.  Oops, sorry, didn't mean to do that. 
And when I'm walking my dog and a great idea comes along, I'm screwed.  I don't carry notebook and pen when I'm dog walking. 
So I went looking for a new toy. 
Now keep in mind that I am extremely technology challanged.  I have let the I-Pod (that's the music one, right?) and the I-Pad go right by me.  I have a radio and a computer so I figure why bother. And even though I have a cell phone, I can't seem to let go of my land line. 
So this past weekend I went to Best Buy and asked the sales guy if they still made tape recorders...or did some new techie thing come along and pass me by.  He looked at me strangely and said, "Umm...we don't have any here...and umm...I don't think they make them anymore."
"Okay, then let me tell you what I need."  And I explained my problem. 
"Oh!" he said, and I actually saw the light bulb go on.  "I know what you're talking about and we have them right back here." 

And what do you know?  A digital voice recorder!  No tape, small enough to fit in my pocket (actually smaller than my cell phone) and 2 gigs of memory!  Wow!  Perfect for what I need and its in my budget.  So I get it and I'm excited.     
Now I can chat away, record my grocery list, maybe something I want to blog about or best of all, record that scene I just pictured in my head for my character in my new manuscript...whether I'm in my car, at work or walking Maggie.
Hey, a new idea!  I can even tell myself what row my car is parked in so maybe I won't lose it again when I go shopping.
Now...if I can just remember to take it with me.


Sub Sandwiches:
Another recipe from the land of plenty of kids.  I'm not sure why we called them subs.  They don't look like subs you get from, say, Subway.  But I guess we couldn't come up with anything more original.  I had to double this recipe for 8-10 kids and 2 adults but I've cut it down today for a normal family and I'll tell you later how I cut it down for 1 or 2.

Preheat broiler and move oven rack up.
1 loaf french bread - cut in half and remove the center bread leaving the sides and bottom.
2 lbs ground beef
1 green pepper - diced
1 med. onion - diced

Brown the gr. beef, gr. peppers, onion and salt and pepper to taste.  Drain grease.
Add 2 cans tomato soup and stir till bubbly.
Place the bread on a cookie sheet and pour the sloppy joe mixture into the wells of the bread. 
Slice 2 large tomatoes and lay slices across the top of the subs.
Use 2 packages of sliced Mozzarella cheese and lay slices across top of tomatoes.  I overlap them a little.
Put in oven on top rack and leave door ajar.
Broil till cheese begins to melt and browns nicely.
Slice into large servings and enjoy.

For just me...I cut the recipe in half and use store-bought sub buns.  You only need 3 buns.  This makes 6 small subs that can get me through several meals.  So delicious!

And the extra bread?  You can either use it to feed the birds in your yard or save and freeze it for use in my dressing recipe.

Quotes of the Day:
I hate to mention age, but I come from an era when we weren't consumed by technology and television. ~
Jimmy Buffett

“Once a new technology rolls over you, if you're not part of the steamroller, you're part of the road.” ~
Stewart Brand

Pros and Cons of Living Alone

Super Bowl:

"I....am....in....charge"

I'm not a big football fan (gasp!) but I would have watched the Super Bowl if the Packers would have been playing cause its my grandson's favorite team. 

I did tape the game though, but not for reasons you might think.  I did it so I could fast forward through the game and watch the commercials. I love the commercials! 

I think, though, that the Dorito one with the Great Dane would have played a little differently in my house.  It would have been my cat burying my dog.  She is, after all, the diva in the house.    

And David Beckham...well...ahhh...what can I say.  Even at my age, that was...ummm...nice to look at.  ;)

And the guys getting caught on the plane playing Words With Friends....so funny.  You started something Alec Baldwin.

But I have to say, the ad that got my attention and held it, and in my opinion was at the top, was the Chrysler commercial with Clint Eastwood.  Very well done! Welcome back Detroit!

Living Alone:
Let's see...I was married for 19 years, then I was in a 7 yr. relationship that was such a bad thing (Jan 21st blog) and now I live alone. I'm pretty sure I don't ever want to get married again. I like the freedom that being single gives me. I feel independent, proud of my accomplishments and it just so happens that I like my own company.   But there are some things I miss about a relationship.  So here is another of my pro and con lists (Jan 27)...living alone at 63:

Pro:  I can come and go as I please.
Con:  No one misses me when I'm gone.
Pro:  There's no more arguments about anything!
Con:  There's no one to talk to.
Pro:  No one can tell me how to spend my money.
Con:  Now I have to live on a single income.
Pro:  I've found I'm very capable of doing a lot of things I didn't used to do :)
Con:  I have to mow my own lawn :(
Pro:   I can watch whatever I want on TV.
Con:  Now I'm commenting about what I'm watching to my dog. (but at least she listens :)

What I'm Reading:
I've added a gadget on the side to profile what I'm reading now.  And I have a few words to say about this particular one...."11/22/63" by Stephen King.
I love to read Stephen King, mainly because I enjoy seeing where his mind has gone in his newest story.  He has a brilliant mind for writing.  Though his stories may not be for everyone, he is one of the best writers I've ever read...and I'll tell you why I feel this way.
Years ago I read It when it first came out and though the story was a little "different" than what I was used to reading, that book has stuck in my mind all these years.  Well, not really the book, or the story even, but the characters.  He wrote those characters in such a way that I have never forgotten them. 
The boy with asthma, who used his inhaler whenever he was afraid, and was ridiculed for it and the boy who was bullied because he was overweight, just to name a couple.  
Each young boy in the story had something about him that stood out.  King wrote these characters with such personality and added all the little idiosyncrasies that made them memorable. 
I decided then that I wanted to be able to write characters like that.  Characters that would stand out in my stories, that people would remember and connect with for a long time.
When the novel, The Help, was first released, I was enthralled with the characters.  This was before it became a big Hollywood hit and got tons of publicity as a movie.  The author of The Help did the same thing as King did in It.  The characters were memorable, ones that will stay in my mind for a long time.
All novels should have characters that come alive as these two do.

Quotes of the Day:
My idea of a Super Bowl is a toilet that cleans itself.   ~ birdhouse@funnyoneliners

Living alone makes it harder to find someone to blame.   ~ Mason Cooley

Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.  - Minnie Pearl